My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be naked everywhere
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize