I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
