Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
