Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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