Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
