I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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