so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
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We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
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She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize