your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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