I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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