You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
