Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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