My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Randomize
