Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
