I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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