Having a random hookup so left but love u
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
