"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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