Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
