I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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