wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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