he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
