But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
