i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
