Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize