I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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