Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
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