you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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