I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
