Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
