maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Houston, we have a blender
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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