i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize