Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
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