I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize