I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
