They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize