so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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