I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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