I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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