The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
