That's intense
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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