No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
