he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
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And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
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I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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