So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I need to sanitize my soul.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
