8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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