your parents love me but you hate me
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
this hospital has no fireball
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize