I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
He kissed a someone with a penis
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
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