We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
