did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
