just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
