she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
