i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
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