Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
When did angry sex become our thing?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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