what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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