I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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