i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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