Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
